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By an Oldish Codger  The Codger Family Coat of Arms Young Cricketer: "Yes, I wafted at a loosener, cocked it off the splice to the gully and the blighter gathered it in."
Younger Cricketer: "Yes, but how did you get out?"
 A Cricket While there is no denying that the above illustrates a “cricket”, it is not “cricket”,
in the sporting sense. To pedantically and arrogantly insist that it was,
would also not be “cricket”, in the sporting sense.
What splendid confusion…no wonder we need a glossary. Introduction
The grand game of cricket has developed a bit like Charles Darwin’s many-specied Galapagos finches - the same bird, but 117 different beaks. It is constantly improving and adapting, with the occasional (some Southern Districts’ players could argue ‘abundant’) regressive gene just to keep the whole evolutionary process on its toes. Heathcote serves as a terminological barometer of that process in some respects, and as a hoarder of the regressive genes in others. All too often we assume that ‘new chums’ regard words in the same manner as us more experienced if still finely-tuned athletes. We associate words with past cricket deeds, personalities and occasions. Words change their meanings to match and we, and thus the game, change with them.
Who are these mysterious all-encompassing “We”. This is the same ‘we’ who can still vividly recall those demon quicks Larwood and Voce, pitted by Jardine against the incomparable Bradman, or “The Bradster” as we called him (see ‘Bodyline’ entry below). 44 gallon drums of Victoria Bitter may have slightly addled the memory but not the detail.
I still have one of Larwood’s balls propped up on my mantelpiece, and (contrary to the old adage) I often gaze wonderingly at it as I stoke the fire. Wicketkeeper/batsman Bert Oldfield’s dried blood is still plastered blackly into the white cotton seam. Some see that as a fitting memorial to Oldfield’s miscalculation of a top-edge to a fairly standard delivery. Who it was that snaffled Bert’s fractured skull I am unable to say. The general chaos and clamour for souvenirs at the time confused more than Oldfield. When Larwood subsequently struck Australian captain Bill Woodfull above the heart my young South African mate, Christian Barnard, fairly drooled alongside me.
As an interesting aside, always an easy-going personality, Oldfield immediately forgave Larwood for the incident, and the two eventually became firm friends. Larwood later emigrated to Australia, the two married and settled down into a modest 3 bedroomed wooden bungalow in St Kilda. They had five relatively normal if slightly anxious children, and never spoke of the incident again.
Right, where was I? Aahh ... yes ... the glossary. This is not an exhaustive glossary by any means. The terms included below will usually have universal application to the ‘cherished game’. However, I have taken the opportunity to include the regional variants and their local applications, particularly their adaptation within the inventive and vibrant Heathcotian cricketing community of the last few decades. As you will discover below, cricket has developed a specialised language longer than Steve Collier’s bar tab... no... perhaps even longer than Jiggsy’s tongue out on a foraging expedition. An earwigging stranger to the game would struggle to interpret the conversation of two sober Heathcote cricketers simply discussing an over or two.
Where the word ‘batsman’ or ‘batsmen’ has been used in the text it is intended to be gender-neutral. I could have used ‘batter’ or ‘batters’ but that reads too much like baseball and resonates with trying too hard. Where ‘he’, ‘him’ or ‘his’ is used in the text rather than a more gender-neutral term, it simply indicates the depth of my laziness and the scope of my sadly incurable chauvinism. Also please note that at no stage in this glossary have I abused or misused Dave Collier, our honoured Club Patron. While I was tempted to call him one of those ornery old blokes (you know the one... the one with the huge beaky nose and the vaguely annoying laugh) in the balcony seats on the Muppet Show... I resisted.
Could I encourage any readers to send me detailed suggestions for future inclusion? This glossary is simply ‘a work in progress’ to which you can contribute.
O. Codger. November 2008
 Fielding Positions Standard fielding positions in the game of cricket.
As you will note there are some 30 of them and ones such as ‘left right out’ have not even been included. Even though I left school before I started, I know that 11 into 30 doesn’t go...well...at least it doesn’t go evenly...does it? How we were expected to fill those 30 positions with only 11 men often drove us to distraction. We didn’t just run between overs, not even just between balls, we had to literally run between the point of delivery, of the ball leaving the bowler’s hand, and the point of contact with the bat or ground. All this in an often vain effort to fill all positions. My best-ever performance was managing to cover silly mid-off, gully, and deep extra cover while actually bowling the delivery myself, but of course I was only medium pace in those days. HEATHCOTIAN GLOSSARY OF CRICKET TERMS
Agricultural shot This is a type of stroke where the bat swings across the line of the ball (resembling a scything motion), played without much technique. It is often one that results in a piece of the pitch being dug up by the bat. A type of a slog. Thus the origins of the nicknames for John “The Farmer” Garry and Amit “Ploughman” Gulati. Similar to a ‘lash’, a ‘slog’, a ‘hoik’ or a ‘wild swish’ ie an unrefined shot played to the leg side usually across the line of the ball. Also see ‘gardening’ below.
All-rounder A player adept at both batting and bowling and drinking, not at the same time. See Norma Thompson for the first two. The term ‘all-rounder’ can also be used as a physical descriptor of body shape, eg Barry Tilling. Also see ‘Bodyline’.
Anchor Solid and dependable, a top-order batsman (let’s use Paul Corliss as a classic example) capable of batting for a long duration, throughout the innings. Usually batsmen playing at numbers 3 or 4 fill such a role, especially if there is a batting collapse. An anchor plays defensively, is often the top scorer in the innings, will usually be well over six feet tall with an extremely muscular stomach, have a ready wit and the ability to charm magpies down out of the trees…
Appeal A claim to the umpire, usually shouted, that a batsman is out, made by the bowler and often supported by others in the fielding team. The act of a bowler or fielder shouting at the umpire to ask if the last ball took the batsman's wicket.
Usually phrased in the form of “howzat?” (how-is-that?). Common variations include “Howzee?” (how is he?); “Howzshe?” (how is she?); “Howzthemissus?” (How is your charming wife?); or simply turning to the umpire and shouting vociferously “For f….’s sake!” When the initial appeal is turned down the follow up ‘appeal’ “You’re f…ing kidding?” often goes unanswered due to its rhetorical nature.
In Heathcote’s case, the expression ‘appeal’ can often involve a formal legal hearing in defence of a member’s criminal integrity. As in “I hope Chopper wins his appeal, 3A are two short for Saturday...” which can be followed up with the ever-hopeful “Maybe he’ll get bail?” or “Who’s his Brief?” For this reference, no use seeing ‘Bail’ entry below, but you’re welcome to.
Approach The motion of the bowler prior to bowling the ball. It is also known as the run-up. Also the ground a bowler runs on during his run up. eg: "Play was delayed because the bowler's approach was slippery." It usually comes right with a clean hanky.
Arm ball A deceptive delivery bowled by an off-spin bowler that is not spun, so, unlike the off break, it travels straight on (with the bowler's arm). A particularly good arm-ball might also swing away from the batsman in the air (or in to him when delivered by a left-armer). A particularly bad arm-ball might careen into the square-leg umpire’s mid-riff, crushing his trigger-finger in the process and ricocheting to the boundary before trickling down the gutter and into that cursed drain.
Around the wicket (or round the wicket) A right-handed bowler passing to the right of the stumps during his bowling action, and vice-versa for left-handed bowlers.
 The Ashes Urn .jpg "Image") The Mother-in-law's Urn Ashes, the The perpetual prize in England v Australia Test match series. The small wooden urn contains ashes collected after burning the bails used when Australia first beat England, at the Oval in 1882. You might ask “What’s a small wooden urn?” The answer is about $12.75 an hour, just above minimum wage. While we’re on the subject, do you actually know what the ideal weight for a mother-in-law is? About 1.25 kilos, including the urn.
Asking rate The rate at which the batting team needs to score in order to catch their opponent’s score in a limited overs’ game.
Attacking shot A shot of aggression or strength designed to score runs. Since the retirement of Tony “The Tonker” Collins, this shot is known at Heathcote as ‘rocking horse shit’.
Back foot In a batsman's stance the back foot is the foot that is nearer to the stumps. A bowler's front foot is the last foot to contact the ground before the ball is released. The other foot is the back foot. Unless the bowler is bowling off the wrong foot the bowling foot is the back foot. A foot on the front but used a foot away from the back foot is the first foot…oh for chrissakes…let’s say 12 inches in old money…
Back foot shot A shot played with the batsman's weight on the back foot (i.e. the foot furthest from the bowler), not to be confused with a ‘shot back foot’ (or ‘ankle-collapse’); or a ‘short back foot’ - which is about 11 inches.
Backing up After a fielder chases the ball, another fielder placed at a further distance also moves into position so that if the fielder misfields the ball, the damage done is minimal. See also the term ‘glass arm’ as defined in the book A Condensed Glossary of Darryl ‘Moose’ Moody’s Cricket Weaknesses, Volume 2, Heinemann Reed, 1997. Backing up is also done to support a fielder receiving a throw from the outfield in case the throw is errant or not caught.
Can also mean the non-striking batsman leaving his crease during the delivery in order to shorten the distance to complete one run. A batsman ‘backing up’ too far runs the risk of being run out.
Bail One of the two small pieces of wood that lie on top of the stumps to form the wicket. No point seeing “Chopper” in the ‘Appeal’ entry above.  A cricket ball nest, rarely found in the open grasslands, often discovered lodged high in trees or in house guttering surrounding parks with short boundaries. Not to be confused with a ‘barker’s nest’, see ‘dropped in it’, below.
Ball The round object which the batsman attempts to strike with the bat and which is bowled by the bowler. Constructed from a hard, solid ball of cork, delicately over-wound with hand-braided string and surmounted with polished leather, with a wide raised equatorial seam. Allegedly manufactured and hand-stitched under appalling conditions in the slums of Calcutta, by very ill children, some as young as 3 months old. If Doc Halliday can’t make them swing then the entire stock of balls in the entire world are sent back to the little girls and they have to unpick all the string in pitch darkness, with tiny little ‘fairy’ lights strapped to their sweaty wee heads, and start again. They are however paid quite well, by eastern standards. See ‘bat’ below. Also see ‘delivery’.
Bang (it) in To bowl a delivery on a shorter length with additional speed and force.  The stages of bat construction from (l to r) 1729 to 1938. The 2nd bat in from the right belonged to the incomparable W. G. Grace
and dates from about 1903. As the framed photograph on the
Heathcote Clubroom’s wall attests, ‘WG’ has worn
the Heathcote cap and shirt, though the photo appears undated.
Bat The wooden implement with which the batsman attempts to strike the ball. Bats are machine-manufactured under wonderfully warm and comfortable conditions, are made out of organically-grown willow trees by pest-free older men who don’t give a damn how many runs you score (or don’t) with them as long as you’ve paid. If they don’t work or are faulty you are simply obliged to buy another one until you find one that works. The batmakers are however paid appallingly. Heathcote bats are often sold at season’s (or career’s) end and invariably described as “Has plenty of runs left in it” or “Hardly used, one stodgy owner – ring Roger”.
See ‘ball’ above.
Bat-pad A fielder who is in position close to the batsman to catch the ball if it hits the bat, then the pad, and rises to a catchable height. Also a defense against being given out ‘lbw’, that the ball may have hit the bat first, however indiscernible.
Bat-and-pad catch A hit ball that first touches a batsman's leg (pad) and is caught by a fielder before it touches the ground.
Batsman (also, particularly in women's cricket, ‘a bat’) A player on the batting side, or a player whose specialty is batting. During the Lomax Presidential era (“The Gingernuts’ Reign”), Heathcote decided that utilising specialists in any position was counter-productive to team morale and it appeared to make no appreciable difference to game outcomes.
Batting The act and skill of defending one's wicket and scoring runs, at the same time! Seemingly an impossible task to set anyone on the HCG. See ‘12 Labours of Hercules’.
Batting order The order in which the batsmen bat, from the openers, through the top order and middle order to the lower order. When the dismissals occur as quickly as it took you to just read this previous sentence it is termed a ‘batting order collapse’ or ‘another debacle’.
Batting Average The average number of runs scored by a batsman, defined as total runs scored divided by the number of times the batsman was out. While defying all known laws of Mathematics and Physics, Roger Georgieff has a “negative lifetime batting average” - also see ‘plonker’ and ‘Stonewall, to’ below.
Beat the bat When a batsman narrowly avoids touching the ball with the edge of his bat, through good fortune rather than skill. Considered a moral victory for the bowler. The batsman is said to have been beaten. In some cases, this may be expanded to "beaten all ends up". ‘Beat the meat’ is both unacceptably crude and an entirely different matter, though the end result can often be remarkably similar. Also see ‘Meat of the bat’ below and ‘Sweet spot’.
Belter, a A belter of a pitch is a pitch offering advantage to the batsman and little to the bowler. Similar to ‘Featherbed’ - a wicket which is considered to be good for batting on, offering little, if any, help for a bowler; a comfortable pitch on which a batsman can relax.
Also see ‘Sticky wicket’ below.
Black Cap The ritual black cloth placed over the head of the presiding judge before declaring guilt for a crime punishable by death. Also the New Zealand national men’s cricket team. See ‘Test Match’.
Block A defensive shot. To play a defensive shot. Or a square of wood used to prop up a derelict car, as in “I see Dockrill’s old car’s back up on blocks.” ‘Dockrill’ – derived from a type of planktonic marine shrimp, favoured by whales, that has a PhD in medicine.
Block hole The area between where the batsman rests his bat to receive a delivery and his toes. It is the target area for a yorker – see below.
Bodyline A game-winning tactic (now suppressed by law changes restricting fielders on the leg side) involving bowling directly at the batsman's body, particularly with close-in fielders packed on the leg side. The term ‘Bodyline’ is usually used to describe the contentious 1932-33 Ashes Tour – see introduction. The tactic is often called ‘fast leg theory’ in other contexts. Ken Lomax and Phil Vaughan, for example, do not have a ‘bodyline’ - nor do they have close-in fielders packed on the leg side (that we are aware of).
Bouncer (or see ‘bumper’) A ball that is bounced high enough to hit a batsman's head or shoulders, preferably the former. A good bouncer will pass so close to the batsman's face that he can smell leather like a freshly-warmed bicycle seat, as it whizzes past. A really good bouncer will ensure he can never smell anything ever again.
Boundary A stroke that results in the ball reaching the fence or marked margin of the playing field, worth four runs to the batsman who played the stroke. If the ball lands on the outside margin of the boundary on the full, it is worth six runs. If it lands on Tony Collins’ roof and he gets to it before your fielders do, it is worth $35.75 for a new two-piece Red King and $45.50 for a new four-piece Kookaburra.
Bowled A mode of a batsman's dismissal. Occurs when a legal delivery hits the stumps and dislodges at least one of the bails, whether or not the ball was touched by the bat. In Heathcote our bowlers also write this up on the Club results-whiteboard as a “third of a hat trick”.
Bowled out Of the batting side, to have lost ten out of its eleven batsmen (thus having no more legal batting partnerships), the innings is thus ended.
Bowler The player on the fielding side who bowls to the batsman.
Bowling The act of delivering the cricket ball to the batsman.
Bowling average The (average) number of runs scored off a bowler per every dismissal he gets.
Bowling foot The foot on the same side of the body that a bowler holds the ball. For a right-handed bowler the bowling foot is the right foot. For a left-handed bowler it is the left foot. For an accident-prone railway shunter it may be either or none – as in ‘Long hop’. Also see ‘Legs eleven’ and ‘Stump’.
Box A protective piece of equipment, usually made of hardened plastic, shaped like a half-shell and worn down the front of a player's (particularly a batsman's) trousers to protect his or her genitalia from the impact of a hard cricket ball. Women players often call it a ‘manhole cover’. Also known as an 'abdominal protector', a 'Hector protector', a ‘Percy mercy’, or a 'cup'.
Also abbreviation of ‘Lunchbox’, ie Box, the nickname of a Heathcote player who has allegedly no wish to protect his genitalia from anything with a pulse.
Break The change in direction of a ball after it is bounced by the bowler. Also the change in direction of batsman’s nose after it is bounced by the bowler. See ‘Leg break’.
Buffet bowling Bowling of a very poor quality, such that the batsmen is able to "come and help himself" to runs. Also as in the old but classic headline “Cafeteria Bowling provides Feast of Runs: Nigel Does Dishes.”
Bumper (more usually ‘bouncer’, see above) A ball that is bounced high enough to hit a batsman's head or shoulders. If it hits the wicketkeeper’s head or shoulders it is called a ‘stumper bumper’. If it hits the wicketkeeper’s bottom it is called a ‘stumper rumper bumper.’ Any lower and it’s called a ‘shit ball’.
Bunsen, a A pitch on which spin bowlers can turn the ball prodigiously. From the rhyming slang: 'Bunsen Burner' meaning 'Tina Turner' meaning ‘Big Bristols’ meaning “lumpy and undependable and a bit skiddy just over there on that bit where Roger spilt the grass clippings and fert”.
Bye (s) Run (s) scored on wayward bowling i.e. when the ball goes past the wicket-keeper without having been touched by the batsman and runs can be scored. Also called ‘making work for the backstop.’
Carry the bat An opener who is ‘not out’ at the end of a completed innings is said to have carried his bat. At Heathcote it means any batsman who can carry his bat out to the middle without having to have more than one rest on the way – usually deserving of polite applause.
Catch To dismiss a batsman by a fielder catching the ball after the batsman has hit it with his bat but before it hits the ground. See next entry.
Caught (out) As in “Moose was caught out when Harry finally audited the till takings and did a comparison with the bar stock.” Otherwise a dismissal resulting from a hit ball caught by a fielder while it was still in the air, i.e. before the ball touched the ground. See previous entry.  A Cherry Cherry The (red) cricket ball, particularly the new ball. Also the ‘new nut’ (also see ‘good nut’), the ‘agate’, the ‘pill’, the ‘jaffa’ - also a near unplayable delivery. Such a ball bowled by an Auckland bowler is known as a ‘Jafa jaffa’. When that type of ball is needed really quickly, due to the state of the game, the Auckland Skipper is said to be calling for a “Jafa jaffa in a jiffy”.  Caricature of a Chinaman Chinaman A left-hander's googly (see definition of 'googly', below)....ie a bowled ball that looks as if it could break INTO a right-handed batsman on the bounce, but instead deceives and unexpectedly breaks AWAY. So-called because the first person to have delivered such a ball was believed to be from Avonhead or Burnside.
Century One hundred runs, a landmark achievement by a batsman in a single innings. See ‘Ton’ and also “99, change hands”. Ask Greg Pullar about the last one.
Chuck To throw the ball instead of bowling it (i.e. by straightening the elbow during the delivery); also chucker: a bowler who chucks; and chucking: an illegal bowling action. All are considered offensive terms as they imply cheating. If you can get away with it, it is considered ‘winning cricket’.
Can also be an expression of endearment as in a delightfully English Club President seeking ‘a bit of hush’ for the team speeches ie “Eee ooop chuck…will you all fook oop?”
Corridor of uncertainty A good and often productive bowling line. The corridor of uncertainty is a notional narrow area on and just outside a batsman's off stump. If a delivery is in this corridor, it is difficult for a batsman to decide whether to leave the ball, play defensively or play an attacking shot. The term was popularised by former England batsman, now commentator, Geoffrey Boycott and also current Kiwi séance assistant and Ouija Board table-and-shirt lifter, the late Ken Corliss.
Country (also paddock) Old name for the outfield, in cricket. Also abbreviated to form a common insult or term of derision, or ‘sledge’ – as in “I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread last week, but I had a closer look and it actually said ‘Thick Cut’.”
Cover drive A type of cricket stroke. A drive (see definition) that is hit away from the batsman's body (the mass of heaving flesh that holds the bat) towards cover position (see fielding positions diagram), usually along the ground (look under your feet – do I have to tell you everybloodything?).
Crease One of several lines on the pitch near the stumps (the ‘popping crease’, the ‘return crease’ and the ‘bowling crease’), most often referring to the popping crease. Similar concept to a ‘skid-mark’ only a different colour, and intentional.
Cricketer A person who plays cricket, but at Heathcote more often referred to as ‘a drinker’.
Cross-bat shot A shot played with the bat parallel with the ground, such as a cut or a pull. Also known as a horizontal-bat shot.
Crowd catch A fielder's catch which leads to a roar from the crowd because at first impression it is a dismissal, but which turns out to be ‘not out’ (because of a no ball or a bump ball rendering the delivery invalid). Also a catch taken by a spectator at the end of a six, which is also ‘not out’. As in the commentators “Oh no, the fat bloke in the 12th row with the beer carton for a hat has spilled the simplest of catches.”
Cut A shot played square on the off side to a short-pitched delivery wide of off stump. So called because the batsman makes a ‘cutting’ motion as he plays the shot - as the umpire often will as well (ie a cutting motion across his throat) very soon after.
Cutter A break delivery bowled by a fast or medium-pace bowler with similar action to a spin bowler, but at a faster pace. It is usually used in an effort to surprise the batsman, although some medium-pace bowlers use the cutter as their stock (main) delivery.
Cutter, leg- or off- A fast pitch where a slashing arm action rather than wrist or finger spin is used to get a slight break off the bounce....depending on the direction of the break, it can be called a leg-cutter or off-cutter.
Dead ball The state of play in between deliveries, in which batsmen may not score runs or be given out.
(a) Called when the ball becomes lodged in the batsman's clothing or equipment.
(b) Called when the ball is (or is about to be) bowled when the batsman is not yet ready.
(c) Called when a bowler aborts his run up without making a delivery.
(d) Called when the batsmen attempt to run leg-byes after the ball has struck the batsman's body, but is deemed to have not offered a shot.
(e) Called when lodged in Tony Collins’ guttering or Raincatcher’s lower lip.
Dead bat The bat when held with a light grip such that, when the ball strikes it, the ball loses momentum and it falls to the ground. Also the condition ascribed to a bat after it has hit the concrete-block wall at the far end of the changing rooms after a dubious LBW decision, or every time Moose is given out.
Declaration In unlimited-over games, a decision by the captain of a batting side to stop batting and put the other side in to bat...usually done to allow enough time to win a game.
Delivery The act of bowling the ball or of giving birth to a baby. Both are often as cumbersome to perform and as painful to watch.
Devil's number (also ‘Dreaded number’) A score of 87 is regarded as unlucky in Australian cricket. According to Australian cricket superstition, batsmen have a tendency to be dismissed for 87. The superstition is thought to originate from the fact that 87 is 13 runs short of a century. The English equivalent is ‘Nelsons’ or 111. At Heathcote the equivalent is ‘A good score’ or any number above 9. Thought to originate from the fact that 9 is only 91 runs short of a century. Also see ‘Tail-ender’ below.  Boys playing cricket on a country road (probably Dobson on the West Coast). The painting is titled ‘Young New Zealand at play: cricket in a mining town’. It appeared in the Weekly Press, 28 October 1899 and was probably painted in 1896. If it’s not Dobson then it is an HCG wicket after Matt Rennie and ‘Shrimpo’ had been quaffing from the ‘secret’ bottle in the roller-shed. And just what is young Georgieff doing to himself in the flax bushes to the right?
Dibbly dobbly A bowler of limited skill or a delivery that is easy to hit. Derived from Kevin Dobson, a relatively unknown Heathcote 4A player of the early 1970s, he opened the bowling (once) before leaving to play for Woolston.
Dismiss To get one of the batsmen out by a range of legal methods so that he must cease batting.
Donkey Drop A small, chewy, peppermint-flavoured lolly much-enjoyed by a horse-like, odd-toed ungulate (Equus asinus). Also a ball with a very high trajectory prior to bouncing.
Dot ball A delivery bowled without any runs scored off it, so called because it is recorded in the score book with a single dot. When they are all joined together at the end of the game they often reveal a telling story.
Drinks A short break in play, generally taken in the middle of a session. A Tui’s ad: “Drinks: A Short Break in Play” “Yeah, right!” Also see ‘Twelfth man’.
Double century An individual score of 200 runs or more by a batsman, hopefully in a single innings at the crease. When it is the total that occurs over an entire career it is amusingly known as an ‘Eastlake double century’. Also see ‘The Yips’, below.
Drive A stroke executed by the batsman in which he swings the bat in a long arc, much like teeing off at golf, and sends the ball in one of several possible directions, but not all of them at once. A powerful shot generally hit along the ground or sometimes in the air (never both at the same time) in a direction between cover point on the off side and mid-wicket on the leg side, or in an arc between roughly thirty degrees each side of the direction along the pitch. The good batsmen carry a protractor.
Drop (a) The accidental dropping of a ball that was initially caught by a fielder, thus denying the dismissal of the batsman who hit it; when such an event occurs, the batsman is said to have been ‘dropped’. Skippers are often required to intervene in order to prevent the upset bowler doing the same thing to (ie ‘drop’) the recalcitrant fielder.
(b) The number of dismissals which occur in a team's innings before a given batsman goes in to bat; a batsman batting at 'first drop' is batting at number three in the batting order, going in after one wicket has fallen.
(c) Purposefully left out of a team by the selector (s), usually due to poor form. eg “Nick Glithero was ‘dropped down’ the grades after his brace of ‘blodgers’ [see ‘duck’]”.
(d) ‘Dropped in it’ – Thoughtlessly left in a difficult or embarrassing position. ‘It’, of course, is the primary constituent of a ‘barker’s nest’ – see above.
 A Classic Duck Duck, a (Or ‘a quacker’; ‘a blob’; a ‘blodger’; a mallard) A zero individual score, a batsman who is dismissed without scoring a single run. Derived from being shaped like a duck egg ie a big nought. Also related to the expression “He didn’t trouble the scorer”.
When the batsman is out on the very first ball faced it is known as a ‘golden duck’.
At Heathcote, when a batsman is out on the very first ball faced in the very first game of the season it is known as a “Going to play for Woolston” shot. Also see ‘Spectacles’ below.
Economy rate The average number of runs scored off a bowler per over that he bowls...a measure of bowling efficiency.
Eleven, an Another name for one cricket team, which is made up of eleven players. See also ‘Legs eleven’.
Extra (s) An extra is a run scored by a means other than a batsman hitting the ball. Extras are also sometimes called sundries. Extras are added to the batting team's score, but are not added to any individual batsman's score. Also see anecdote re Windward Isles batsman Xavier Tras below.
Far Out A more modern term, sometimes associated with drug culture. Means a long way away, as far from the real action as possible, preferably over the boundary – even further away than ‘long off, man’. Usually accompanied by modifiers as in “Far out, man” or even “Wow, far out man”. The Heathcote Trainspotters’ Team were renowned for it. Similar derivation, but slightly different meaning, to “Out of it”. Unrelated to “Not out’.
Ferret An exceptionally poor batsman, even more so than a ‘rabbit’. Named because the ‘ferret’ goes in after the ‘rabbits’. Sometimes referred to as a ‘weasel’ but for stoatly different reasons. See also ‘rabbit’, ‘walking wicket’ and ‘wag’ below.
Fishing Being tempted into throwing the bat at a wide delivery outside off-stump and missing, reaching for a wide delivery and missing. See ‘nets’.
Flipper A large marine mammal of TV fame that suckles its young, breathes through a blow-hole and has difficulty holding a bat. Also a term for a leg spin delivery with under-spin, so it bounces lower than normal. Sometimes called a Clarrie Grimmett.
Floater, a A delivery bowled by a spinner that travels in a highly arched path appearing to 'float' in the air. An unflushable and usually undesirable object formed from the same constituents as a ‘barker’s nest’ but human in origin.
Follow on The team batting second continuing for their second innings, having fallen short of the ‘follow on’ target/number of required runs. In a full two-innings game, where the team batting second is asked to bat again because its first innings total is so far behind that of the other team.
Follow through A bowler's body actions after the release of the ball to stabilise their body movement.
French Cut (also known as a ‘Chinese Cut’ or a ‘Heathcote Drive’) An unintended inside edge which misses hitting the stumps by a few centimetres. Good liars and bad batsmen will tell you it was “…played for”. ‘Bones’ Kroening once played so many ‘Heathcote Drives’ in a match that he was nicknamed “The Chauffeur”.
Full toss A ball that reaches the batsman without hitting the ground, ie on the full, like a baseball pitch. Also known as a beanball or a beamer when it is aimed at the head of the facing batsman. When used to describe Steve Collier as he is staggering to a taxi with a skinful it has an ‘er’ added to the end of it.
Gardening This is one of what are called cricket’s ‘agrarian expressions’ - they probably vote National. A batsman prodding at the pitch with his bat between deliveries, either to flatten a bump in the pitch, to soothe his own jangling nerves or simply to waste time or upset the rhythm of the bowler. Considered facetious as there is not really a point to it. Nothing to do with the expression ‘farming or shepherding the strike’ nor to ‘cow corner” – that part of the cricket ‘paddock’ where any cricket action is so unlikely to occur that cows could safely be grazed there without fear of interference (from the game at least). Also see ‘Agricultural shot’, ‘lip stick’, ‘slotted gumboots’ and ‘sheep’.
Getting your eye in When the batsman takes his time to assess the condition of the pitch, ball or weather etc before starting to attempt more risky strokes. Of course, it can also mean other more reproductive activity, but only to chaps.
Glide A stroke which is executed like a drive (see definition) but is angled to go behind the batsman on his off side (see definition). eg “To glide one through slips…”
Good nut, a A well bowled ball or delivery. Also ‘a jaffa’. See ‘Cherry’ above.
Googly (also ‘Wrong 'un’) A ball which is thrown with baseball's ‘screwball’ grip but reverse finger spin... disguised to look like a leg-break (see definition) that should move across and AWAY from the batsman, but actually moves in the OPPOSITE direction, i.e. INTO the batsman like an off-break (see definition), after it bounces (also see definition of ‘chinaman’). If you are getting dizzy looking up all the definitions in this glossary it is called being ‘googly-eyed’ - see this definition).
Green top A pitch or wicket with an unusually high amount of visible grass that might be expected to assist the bowlers.
Half Century An individual batsman’s score of 50 runs or more, a reasonably significant landmark for a batsman.
Half-tracker A native-Australian dwarf often used to assist police when searching for escaped criminals in the Nullabor. Also another term for a long hop (see below), so called because the ball bounces roughly halfway down the pitch.
Hat trick Getting three batsmen ‘out’ in three successive balls...so called because in the 17th century, a bowler who accomplished the feat was rewarded by an immediate bonus, collected by passing a hat among gathered spectators. At Heathcote a ‘hat trick’ usually means drinking the equivalent of a bottle of Khan out of Pike’s hat while standing on Jodie’s handbag at 3 in the morning – the ‘trick’ bit is getting someone else to pay for the Khan. See ‘Khan’ below. .jpg "Image") The HCG looking towards the Maltworks End HCG Acronym for the Heathcote Cricket Ground. Used by media commentators and Heather Steele to identify ‘probably the best cricket club in upper Heathcote’. Also see ‘Maltworks End’ and ‘Tunnel End’.
Hook A stroke that is executed by the batsman swinging his bat around his body, and following up with (or nearly so) a complete body turn, usually pivoting on one foot...works best on a ball that is moving away from the batsman on his leg side (see definition).
Hutch See ‘Rabbit’.
Innings One player's or one team's turn to bat (or bowl). Perhaps somewhat confusingly, in cricket the term ‘innings’ is both singular and plural. The total number of runs scored by a team during its turn at bat. Or the allotted span of one’s life eg “He’s had a good innings”. At Heathcote it can refer to the time spent propping up the bar - as in Amanda Wallis’ “Come on you sots, you’ve had a good innings, pack it in, give Pike his wet hat back and Jodie her flat bag. Bar’s closed.”
Innings victory In a full two-innings game, a victory where one team scores more runs in a single innings than its opponent does in two.
Inswing A ball that moves in towards a batsman in the air, like baseball's curve ball.
It’s not cricket An expression meaning any action that is deceptive, unfair or underhanded, like when you get caught cheating...ie contrary to the spirit in which cricket is supposed to be played. If you are not caught it is considered ‘winning cricket’.
Khan A type of cheap, very high-alcohol, coffee-based liquor much favoured by cricketers in the early hours of the morning. See ‘Cooking sherry’. Also ‘A Khanning’ or ‘To be Khanned’ – A tribal ritual performed at Heathcote to welcome an honoured guest; involves a silver platter, a tea towel draped across the waiter’s forearm and a foul concoction ladled into a glass and which tastes like cough syrup past its use-by date - lovely. See ‘Hat trick’ below.
Knock A batsman's innings. A batsman who makes a high score in an innings can be said to have had a ‘good knock’. Also Captain's Innings/Captain's Knock - a high-scoring individual innings by the captain of the batting team considered to have changed the course of a match. A lovely feeling, no matter how many times it is experienced, let me tell you.
Late cut A hit that is executed by a batsman by deflecting the ball in a slicing motion, just before it reaches the wicket keeper or catcher. Staggering back towards home from the Valley Inn at 2 in the morning is known as “Cut, and late’.
LBW Acronym for leg before wicket. A ball which is intercepted by a batsman's body before it hits the stumps...an umpire will rule the batsman dismissed if he is sure that the stumps would otherwise have been hit. In brief, the batsman is out if, in the opinion of the umpire, the ball hits any part of the batsman's body (usually the leg/pad before hitting the bat and would have gone on to hit the stumps. Often more controversial than the answer to that age-old question “Who’s a better sparrow-walker, Trout or Kit?”
Leg break A ball that is bowled almost like baseball's screwball, and breaks into a batsman's body off the bounce, from the batsman's leg side. It was also the type of fracture sustained when Dave Poole told Fiona that Tampax were replacing the string on their tampons with a length of red tinsel, but only for the Christmas period…
Leg bye Run (s) scored when the ball hits the batsman's legs, and goes off into the field. The runs are added to the team total as extras, but not credited to the batsmen... nor charged to the bowlers. NOTE: leg-byes are not allowed when there is an lbw dismissal (see definition), or if the ball has been intentionally kicked, deflected or swallowed by the batsman.
Leg glance A stroke consisting of a deflection around the batsman's legs, of a ball past the wicket keeper and behind him. Also called a ‘tickle’ and a ‘flick’. A confused or uncertain leg glance is termed a ‘flickle’.
Leg side That half of the field, as bisected by a line joining the wickets and extended both ways, where the batsman's legs are placed. Also called ‘on side’ (see definition of off and on side below)
Legs eleven Either this is in the wrong glossary (see Bingo and Housie: A numerical glossary of rhyming slang) or it represents a cricket team of remarkably accident-prone railway shunters. See also ‘Bowling foot’, ‘Eleven, an’ and ‘Stump’. No use looking at ‘Long hop’ but if you must...
Length, a good (delivery) A ball which bounces just outside the batsman’s maximum forward reach (i.e. 3 to 5 yards from the wickets, depending upon the batsman's height)....these balls are the hardest for a batsman to hit because he cannot decide whether to step forward, or if he should step back and give himself the maximum distance from the ‘bounce’, to see what the ball might be doing.
Limited over games (& Unlimited) ‘Limited Over’ games are those where each team is allowed to bat only for a designated number of overs. Typically, 30, 40, 45 or 50 overs are set as the limit for each team's innings. ‘Unlimited Over Games’ are those where no over restriction is placed on a team's innings.
Lofted drive A drive (see definition) where the ball is lofted (hit in the air) to clear the infield or midfield positions.
Long hop, a (or short pitch) Also disparagingly referred to as “a Georgieff googly”. A ball that is bounced far away from the batsman (at least 7 to 10 yards away), so that it reaches the batsman after a long hop, or bounce. Also the name for a tall, one-legged railway shunter trying to bowl. Also see ‘Half-tracker’ above.
Loosener A poor delivery bowled at the start of a bowler's spell before he has loosened up. What often occurs on the initial visit to the Club’s combined paraplegic toilet/Umpire changing rooms after a good night on the Speights. Also see ‘Runs’.
Mis-field A fielder failing to collect the ball cleanly, often fumbling the ball or dropping a catch. Alternatively, Jeff Field’s daughter being formally introduced.
Maiden over, bowling a A set of six balls delivered by a bowler from which no runs are scored. What else were you expecting?
Maltworks End The predominant feature at the western end of the Heathcote ground, as in “He was bowling from the Maltworks End.” The Maltworks has been closed for some years now but Heathcote has considered purchasing the huge dominating concrete silos in order to ensure that we can still call it “The Maltworks End’. See ‘HCG’ and ‘Tunnel End’.  An Australia v India one-dayer Manhattan Manhattan Also called a ‘Skyline’ or a ‘Maltworks’. A bar graph showing the runs scored off each over in a one-day game. The graph will also usually show in which overs wickets fell. So called because the bars supposedly resemble the skyscrapers that dominate the skyline of Manhattan. ‘A Maltworks’ bar graph doesn’t go above 9 runs.
Meat of the bat The thickest part of the bat, from which the most energy is imparted to the ball. Thus you can, without overt crudity, have the expression ‘beating the meat of the bat’. Also see ‘Beat the bat’ above. See ‘middle of the bat’ and ‘sweet spot’ below.  Michelle Pfieffer .jpg "Image") John Wonfor Michelle, a Five wickets taken by a bowler in a single innings, named after the actress Michelle Pfeiffer (ie a ‘five-for’ or a ‘fi’fer’). Also see Heathcote’s variant of this “a Johnny’, named after Lyttelton tughand John Wonfor (ie a ‘one-for’ or a ‘one’fer’). As in “O’Connell took 1 wicket for 117 runs today, his best ‘one-for’ in a decade…”
Middle of the bat The area of the face of the bat that imparts maximum power to a stroke if that part of the bat hits the ball. Also known as the ‘meat of the bat’ – see above. Effectively the same as the ‘sweet spot’; however, a shot that has been ‘middled’ usually means one that is hit with great power as well as timing.
Nets A pitch (sometimes artificial) surrounded on three sides by netting, used for practice by batsman and bowler to deliberately maim each other. Sometimes used to trap dolphins – see ‘Flipper’ above. Also ‘to take a net’ = to have a practice. Also see ‘Short-pitched’ and ‘beanball’
Night watchman In matches lasting 2 or more days, a lower order batsman who is sent in to stall for time late in the evening, so the more experienced batsmen can bat the following day. At Heathcote a term applied to the person or persons allocated (or, more generally, who volunteer) to making sure the beer hoses don’t clog up from lack of flow.
No-ball A ball delivered by a bowler who has crossed the line he is supposed to bowl from, or violated some other rule. When an umpire calls no-ball the facing batsman cannot be out except if run out. At Heathcote the term has an additional meaning ascribed usually on the Saturday after the last person to previously pack the gear-bag was Scott Lucas when it can also include “no pad”, “no glove”, “no box”, “no score book” and sometimes “no bloody gear-bag”.
Not out A batsman who is in and has been not yet been dismissed, particularly when play has ceased.
The call of the umpire when turning down an appeal for a wicket. See ‘Appeal.’
Off-break A ball which, after bouncing, ‘breaks’ into the batsman's body from his off side (see definition below for ‘off side’).
Off cutter An off-break delivery bowled by a fast or medium-pace bowler which moves into the batsman after hitting the surface. (The ball breaks from the off-side to the leg side of the batsman).
Off drive A drive (see definition) which is executed at about a 45-degree angle to the line of the wickets, on the batsman's off side (see definition).
Off side That half of the field, as bisected by a line joining the wickets and extended both ways, which is in front of and away from the batsman, i.e. the other half of the field (as opposed to his ‘leg’ or ‘on’ side). Neither a scrum nor a free kick is given under the new ELVs… I think.
On drive A drive (see definition) which is executed at about a 45-degree angle to the line of the wickets, on the batsman's on or leg side (see definition). Or ‘the sober driver’ as in “You’re on ‘drive’ tonight, Nanette.”
One short The term used when a batsman fails to make contact with the ground beyond the popping crease, and turns back for an additional run – ie one run short from his score. Also, the number that any team would prefer to play with, even if D9 declares his availability to fill-in. An accident prone shunter is often termed this when referring to his leg quantum…
On side The half of the pitch behind the batsman's body as he takes strike i.e. the left half for a right-handed batsman and the right for a left-hander (also known as the ‘leg side’).
On the up Describes a batsman playing a shot, usually a drive, to a ball that is quite short and has already risen to knee height or more as the shot is played. ‘On the up-and-up’ describes a member of the Trainspotters’ Team executing this same type of stroke.
Opening batsman (or just ‘opener’) One of the first two batsmen sent in to start a team's innings. Correspondingly also ‘opening bowler’. Heathcote have ‘experimented’ (see ‘trying to cheat’ below) with up to seven opening batsmen at the one time, without success to date - see ‘umpires’ and ‘rules’ for why.
Out The state of a batsman who has been dismissed. The word sometimes spoken while raising the index finger by the umpire when answering an appeal for a wicket in the affirmative. Also ‘On your bike’, ‘take a shower’, and ‘tell someone who gives a shit’.
Outswing A ball which moves down and away from the batsman in the air, like baseball's ‘slider’.
Over The set of six balls delivered from one wicket to the other by a bowler.
Partnership, stand A term used to indicate the number of runs scored by both batsmen at the wicket, between one dismissal and the next one... for example, a "partnership of 100 runs for the third wicket" would mean that 100 runs were scored by both batsmen combined between the second and third dismissal. Or “The Heathcote 3As had a partnership of 17 runs for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th wickets, before defaulting.”
Picket fence An over in which one run is scored off each delivery. When marked as consecutive singles in the scorebook it looks like a picket fence – 111111 – hence the name. A batman can be described as ‘building a picket fence’ when he is consistently scoring only single runs.
 Definitions of balls that are bowled at varying lengths down a pitch or wicket.
ie A bouncer; short-pitched (an ‘Alfie’ or a ‘Smit-ball’); good length (not to be confused with the foul expression “slipping her - or him - a …”); full pitched; a yorker (or a sandshoe crusher).
Pitch (a) The rectangular surface in the centre of the field where most of the cricket action takes place. Usually made of earth or clay or Roger’s grass clippings mixed with some ‘chucked’ Canterbury Biltong. It is 22 yards in length (the pitch, not the biltong. The biltong is only about 4 inches and costs $3.95 behind the bar).
(b) Of the ball, to bounce before reaching the batsman after delivery.
(c) The spot where the ball pitches.
Playing on For the batsman to hit the ball with his bat but only succeed in diverting it onto the stumps. The batsman is thus out, bowled. Also known as ‘dragging on’ or chopping on’. For ‘playing up’ ring Kit Chambers when Wendy is at work.
Pull A hit executed by a batsman ‘pulling’ an off-side ball (see definition) around his body towards his other (i.e. the on, or leg) side.  “Oh, look Sean, there’s Warren Cresswell” said Dave. Rabbit (Or ‘bunny’) A particularly inept batsman, usually a specialist bowler. A ‘rabbit’ often seems unsure of how he should even hold his bat, as typified by Dave Mooyman. Also see ‘possum in headlights’ and ‘playing for Woolston next season.’
The term is also used for a higher order batsman who is out frequently to the same bowler, although then most often in the form ‘bunny’; for example, Sean Coster is sometimes described by commentators as ‘anyone’s bunny’. Warren Cresswell used to be described as having as a Christian name “a home where lots of rabbits live’ – no cricket relevance whatsoever. Hutch Johnson also fitted this latter category. ‘Hutch’ is also a term used for the pavilion or dressing room, especially one that is home to a large number of rabbits – eg “He played a shocker and now he’s back in the hutch”. ‘The bunny trail’ = the path taken back to the ‘hutch’ by a dismissed lower order batsman. “Hopping down the bunny trail’ = the path taken back to the ‘hutch’ by a dismissed lower order one-legged railway shunter.
Retire For a batsman to voluntarily leave the field during his innings, usually because of injury. A player who retires through injury (‘retired hurt’) may return in the same innings at the fall of a wicket, and continue where he left off
Reverse swing The art of swinging the ball contrary to how a conventionally swung ball moves in the air; i.e. movement away from the rough side. There are many theories as to how this may occur. It usually happens with an older ball, but not always, atmospheric conditions and bowler skill also being important factors. It has been espoused that once the 'rough' side becomes extremely rough a similar effect to that of a dimpled golf ball may cause it to move more quickly through the air than the 'shiny' side of the ball.
Rough A worn-down section of the pitch, often due to bowlers' footmarks, from which spinners are able to obtain more turn on the ball. A ‘bit of rough’ does not mean a portion of this worn-down section, for a fuller explanation – spend the evening in the public bar of the British Hotel in Lyttelton. ‘Rough’ can also refer to the side of the ball that has been scuffed & is purposefully left unpolished ie the rough side.
Run (s) Safe crossing (s) from wicket to wicket, by a batsman (and his partner) after hitting the ball or off a fielding error. Each crossing scores one run to the batting team. See ‘Loosener’.
Runner A player of the batting side assisting an injured batsman by doing his running between the wickets. The runner must wear and carry the same equipment and both the injured batsman and the runner can be run out, the injured batsman having to stay in his ground.
Run out A dismissal which consists of the fielder striking the wickets (and dislodging at least one bail) towards which a runner is headed, before he gets to his crease. Often used with an adjective – eg a ‘dismal dismissal’. Also when the ThreeBoys beer tap starts to sputter and froth you know it is about to ‘run out’; when Loamy does the same thing you know he is not happy.
Run rate The rate at which runs are being scored per over, in an innings.
 The stitched white seam of a Kookaburra 2-piece Seamer A faster ball delivered with the seam straight, and which can ‘slide’ in the air or ‘break’ unexpectedly.
Sight-screen A large wide board placed behind the bowler, beyond the boundary, used to provide contrast to the ball, thereby aiding the striker in seeing the ball when it is delivered. Big Luke Thoms used to be known as “a sight-screen on two legs”.
Silly A modifier to the names of some fielding positions to denote that they are unusually or ludicrously close to the batsman, most often silly mid-off, silly mid-on, silly midwicket and silly point. When ludicrously close to voting for ACT they are known as ‘silly bastard’.
Sitter An easy catch (or occasionally a stumping) that should generally be taken. Also ‘dolly’; ‘gift’.
Six (or a ‘sixpence’, a ‘sixer’) A stroke that has the ball aerially over the fence or boundary mark without touching the ground first, scoring six runs to the batsman that hit it. Australian for ‘sex’.
Skipper Used synonymously with Captain. Also ‘Skip’. See ‘knock’.
Sledging Verbal abuse in simple terms, or a psychological tactic in more complex terms. Used by cricketers both on and off the field to gain advantage over the opposition by frustrating them and breaking their concentration. The International classic sledges, in my view, are:
(a) Aussie quick bowler Glenn McGrath & Zimbabwe number 11 Eddo Brandes: After Brandes played & missed at a yet another McGrath delivery, the Aussie bowler politely enquired: "Oi, Brandes, why are you so fat?" Quick as a flash Brandes replied, "Cos every time I f**k your wife she gives me a biscuit."
(b) Robin Smith & Merv Hughes: During the 1989 Lords’ Test, Hughes said to Smith after he had played & missed: "You can't f**king bat". Smith said to Hughes after he had smacked him to the boundary for four: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f**king bat & you can't f**king bowl."
(c) And of course who can forget Ian Healy's legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when the rather corpulent Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one-dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner just for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t".
Slip / s A close fielder behind the batsman, next to the wicket-keeper on the off-side. There can be as many as four slips for a faster bowler. Also (‘in the slips’; ‘at first slip’; ‘slips’ cordon’) the positions occupied by such fielders. Also ‘Slipper’ - a player who specialises in fielding in the slips. “Putting the slipper in” does not mean placing a slips fielder in position, unless he is wearing sprigged rugby boots and play is about to get very unsporting.
 A chocolate bar named after ‘Snickers’ Ault Snick (also ‘edge’) A slight deviation of the ball off the edge of the bat. Top, bottom, inside and outside edges denote the four edges of the bat although we also have the expression ‘leading edge’ (see above) which I suppose really makes five edges all told, which means the bat is very oddly shaped and may explain quite a bit. As in Matt ‘Snickers’ Ault, a sweet but consistently edge-prone batsman.
Spectacles (or ‘a pair’) A double duck (also see ‘duck’ above), ie a batsman who is out for zero runs in both innings of a two-innings cricket game. At Heathcote it is also known as “Doing a Derek” or a “Going to play for Woolston”. Three consecutive ducks is termed a ‘Quack-Trick’. Four consecutive ducks is called ‘shouting the bar’.
Spell The number of continuous overs a bowler bowls before being relieved. The total number of overs that a bowler bowls in an innings.
Spin (bowler) A kind of ball, usually delivered at slow speed, where fingers or/and wrist are used to impart spin to the ball to achieve breaks (see definition); so, spin bowler = a bowler who uses spin.
Square cut A stroke that looks like a slash across the body, used by batsman to hit the ball ‘square’ to his batting position... ‘The Allan Jones Memorial Urinal’ often sees many such “slashes across the body” though very few balls get hit square.
Sticky wicket (or ‘A sticky’) A field which is partly dry and partly wet, creating a treacherous and uncertain bounce which makes the batsman's life difficult...by extrapolation, any life situation which is full of hazardous uncertainty. eg Putting on the wrong pair of underpants in the changing rooms, as in “Oh my Gawd, shoot me, I’ve just slipped into Mark Pullan’s jocks.” Even Mark Pullan says that. See ‘belter’ above.
Stodge See ‘Stonewall’, next entry.
Stonewall, to To bat only to stop the bowler from hitting the stumps, without attempting to score. A defensive tactic, or to ‘stodge’ as in ‘Rodger the Stodger’ or “Paul Garland would have stodged but his cows actually came home”.
Stop the rot Bat in a partnership (see definition) that lasts long enough and scores enough runs to make up for a succession of quick dismissals and a low score total, earlier in the innings. Harder to achieve than the alternative triggering expression ‘Start the rot’.
Strangle Form of dismissal whereby a batsman, in trying to play a glance very fine to a leg-side ball, gets an inside edge which is caught by the wicket-keeper.
Strike rate The number of runs scored by a batsman per balls actually faced by him.
Stroke An attempt by a batsman to play at a delivery (while suffering a rupture or occlusion of a blood vessel which leads to lack of oxygen in the brain). The sudden loss of function of that part of the brain often explains (or is given as the explanation for) a simply atrocious and rash stroke that results in dismissal – see ‘rush of blood’. Forgivingly known at Heathcote as a ‘cerebrovascular dismissal’.
Stump One of the three vertical posts making up the wicket (‘off stump’, ‘middle stump’ and ‘leg stump’); something also found in a team comprising (one per member) single-legged railway shunters – see ‘Legs eleven’ above.  An analysis of what formally constitutes a wicket
– a set of 3 stumps and 2 bails with their metric and imperial measurements. Stumped A dismissal which is made by the wicket-keeper, catching the batsman out of his ground when he is trying to hit the ball and he misses (not his missus).
Stumps The end of a day's play. Also the three stumps that make up the wicket, see ‘stump’ above.
Sweep (or a ‘Sooty’ as in ‘Sooty & Sweep’) A shot generally played to spinners or slow deliveries of a good length, where the bat is played horizontally and low to the ground in an effort to sweep the ball around the back of the legs. The batsman will often ‘propose’ to the ball by getting down on one knee as he plays the shot. Also ‘slog sweep’ and ‘reverse sweep’.
Sweet spot The small area on the face of the bat that gives maximum power for minimum effort when the ball is hit with it. Also known as the ‘middle’ or ‘meat’ of the bat. A shot that is struck with the sweet spot is referred to as being well-timed. See ‘Middle of the bat’ and ‘Meat of the bat’ above.
Tail Also called the lower order. Refers to the last batsmen in a team’s innings that are usually made up of specialist bowlers and usually contains one rabbit or more. A ‘long tail’ means that a team contains many specialist bowlers or perhaps many useless bowlers and just as many useless batsmen.
Shorter tails mean there are more batsmen/all-rounders in the team. If the tail performs well it is said that the tail ‘wagged’, see below.
Tail-ender A batsman who bats towards the end of the batting order, usually a specialist bowler or wicket-keeper with relatively poor batting skills. The ‘tail wags’ if these batsmen manage to score a significant amount of runs, at Heathcote this is regarded as 9 or more – see ‘Devil’s number’ above. The last of the tail-enders are colloquially known as ‘rabbits’ or ‘bunnies’ – see above. Occasionally they ‘wag’, see below.
Tail-ender The last two or three batsmen in a team's batting order.
Take guard What a batsman does when he first goes in to bat, i.e. he asks the umpire and his God for guidance, and marks the position where he wishes to stand when batting.
Test Match An official two-innings match between two accredited national teams, usually spread over 5 playing days (30 hours). In the New Zealand Black Cap’s case they can sometimes go really really fast and it is surprisingly all finished within two days.
Through the gate As in "bowled through the gate": dismissed with a ball that passes through the gap between the bat and the pads before hitting the wicket. Also “left the gate wide open” or “didn’t close the gate in time.” Completely different derivation to “His well-crafted century ‘shut the gate on’ the opposition’s chances of enforcing the follow on.” Not classed as one of cricket’s ‘agrarian’ words.
Throwing See ‘Chuck’.
Ton or century An individual score during a single innings of 100 runs or more by a batsman. A significant and keenly sought landmark for a batsman. At Heathcote often used ironically, to describe a bowler conceding over 100 runs in an innings.
See also Double century above.
Triple century An individual score during a single innings of 300 runs or more by a batsman. Coincidentally, the lifetime aggregate of Ed Lester and Rob Armstrong combined. See also ‘Ton or century’ and ‘Double century’ above.
Trundler A reliable, steady medium-pace bowler who is not especially good, but is not especially bad either – also useful for carrying a golf bag and set of clubs, 7 chilled bottles of Heineken, a soggy filled roll, a packet of Port Royal tobacco (with papers) and a warm jersey around a golf course. Sometimes also ‘Straight up-and-down’ a pejorative term used to describe a fast or medium paced bowler who cannot swing or seam the ball. If you have a choice as Skipper, pick the more versatile ‘Trundler.’
Tunnel End The main feature at the eastern end of the Heathcote pitch, the end where the western portal of the Christchurch to Lyttelton road tunnel opens. As in “With the wind at his back, Bert wanted to open from the ‘Tunnel End’ as he needed all the assistance he could get.”
See ‘Maltworks End’.
 An Heathcotian twelfth man Twelfth man (or ‘The Drinks Waiter’) Traditionally, the first substitute player who fields when a member of the fielding side is injured. Primary roles are carrying the drinks onto the field during breaks, shouting “have a go ya mug/hit out or get out” at regular intervals and pretending to wince in pain while muttering about his “…bloody hammy”.
Unplayable delivery A ball that is impossible for the batsman to deal with; used to imply that the batsman was out more through the skill of the bowler than through his own error. Sometimes ‘an absolute jaffa’.
Vee An unmarked, loosely defined V-shaped area on the ground at which the batsman stands at the apex. The two sides of the ‘V’ go through the mid-off and mid-on regions. Most shots played into this region are straight-batted shots, which don't involve the risks associated with playing across the line. An ideal stroke is said to be “played in the V”. If the batsman is dyslexic he can often end up “playing in the N”.
Also the V-shaped joint between the lower end of the handle and the blade of the bat - the splice.
Waft A loose non-committal stroke, usually played to a ball pitched short of a length and well wide of the off stump. “He wafted at a loosener and ended up snicking it to the 'keeper.” See ‘Fishing’, ‘Loosener’ and ‘Snick’ above.
Wag When tail-enders score more runs than they are expected to (“the tail wagged”). How a rabbit’s tail wags I am uncertain, but perhaps see ‘Ferret’ for a possible explanation. A rabbit will often freeze in terror when confronted by a ferret, but its stubby little tail will wag submissively in the vain hope of its throat being spared the sharp incisors of its killer… like Derek Wells facing an upset Alf Smit.
Walk Of a batsman, to walk off the pitch, knowing or believing that he is out, rather than waiting for an umpire to give him out (forfeiting the chance that the umpire may give him the benefit of the doubt regarding a dismissal if he is not certain that the batsman is out). Generally considered to be sporting behaviour though increasingly rare in international cricket and positively frowned on at the HCG, unless it’s Sumner who walk.
Walking wicket, a A very poor batsman, particularly tail-end batsmen, who are usually specialist bowlers but sometimes just useless at both bowling and batting. Statistically, any batsman averaging fewer than 5. Also, statistically, the entire 4C squad. In the same context as ‘an accident waiting to happen’. See ‘rabbit’.
Wicket(s) The terms ‘wicket’, and ‘wickets’, are used in different and important ways. "THE wicket" is the strip of field between the two sets of stumps marking each end, as in ‘sticky wicket’ (see definition). ‘A wicket’, used as singular or plural, is a count of the number of dismissals (or batsmen out) in an innings, so "85 for 6 wickets" means 85 runs scored, for 6 dismissals. "THE wickets", always used in the plural, are the set of three sticks or ‘stumps’, as in "He stood in front of the three stick things". It helps to know the context in which the word is being used. Also called the track; the goat track; the pitch; the strip.  What’s wrong with this picture? Wicket keeper The position equivalent to baseball's catcher. A bad one is also known as a ‘stopper’.
Wicket maiden A maiden over (ie where no runs are scored) where one or more dismissals such as bowled or caught out (see definitions) also occur.
Wicket-to-wicket An imaginary line connecting the two wickets, also a style of straight, un-varied bowling.
Wide (or wide ball) A ball that travels too far from the batsman for him to have a reasonable chance of hitting it. A delivery that passes illegally wide of the wicket, scoring an extra run for the batting side. A wide does not count as one of the six valid deliveries that must be made in each over - an extra ball must be bowled for each wide signalled.
Woolston, play for Derived from the expression “f**k ‘em all and play for City”.
Xavier Tras As extras/xtras (see entry above) are not credited to a batsman, and cricket has a long tradition of providing full lists of scorer names and initials, the Extras total is sometimes personified as 'X. Tras' or 'Xavier Tras'. This can sometimes mean that 'Xavier Tras' can be the highest scorer in an innings. Xavier originally played for the Windward Isles at first drop before being selected for West Indies B.
Yips, the The Yips are occasionally experienced by bowlers suffering from a loss of confidence. A psychological condition whereby the bowler is unable to sufficiently relax when delivering the ball - often holding the ball too long before release, losing flight, turn and accuracy in the process. Bowlers have been known to suffer from ‘The Yips’ for as little as a few overs, however in extraordinary cases (eg Nigel Georgieff) they can last for an entire career.
Yorker An overpitched delivery which is bowled so far forward as to bounce right under the bat – a mythical phenomenon, in Heathcote’s case. When bowled with a new ball it is sometimes called an “American delivery” ie “A new yorker.”
Often poetically associated with rhyming adjectives, as in the expression “A corker yorker”. Or additionally when, say if Mike Pannell was the bowler of the delivery, he was described by the less than generous raconteur as “A corker porker yorker”. When Mike talked of the delivery later over a pint, he was amusingly and even less generously described as “A corker porker yorker talker.”
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